Security

It seems that there is confusion on what a leader is, or what makes a leader in the first place. We have over and over witnessed a failure to elect leaders, both in local friends to follow and all the way through the top job in the country at our own expense.

It is also visible through various misinformation campaigns created by various players in the local and world scenes that are having success in creating diversion and upsets that is threatening ours and others nations.

In this information rich environment where anyone can say anything from anywhere in the world, it is a big challenge to identify who is on what side of things and what their goal is. There are a few traps that we fall into but before diving into those I want to talk about leading and leadership.

For someone to be a good leader, and one could qualify that to mean who can help improving everyones living conditions and not bring about the opposite. Or, thanks to his/her actions we are surviving better and things keep improving. Happiness is within everyones reach.

A leader must have integrity, must have the family, group, company, councilman/woman, and every other level up through to the US president, have in their interest to forward the survival according to their sphere of influence. Must act unselfishly, and never sell out their responsibility to some vested interest that only think of themselves. Which means causes more harm than help and assistance.

I’m saying that regardless of your sphere of influence you need to also evaluate that with everyone in mind. Otherwise you may easily find yourself up against everyone else who are united and your actions could cause sever loss to your sphere of influence. As in the case of criminal acts where justice catches up.

So, how do you recognize a leader and indeed, separate out the ones that only speaks the speak but does not walk the walk? With all the noise from all the media outlets and everyone having an opinion however unqualified to promote it, how to tell them apart?

There is a saying Look, don’t listen. You need to observe what someone is doing and the results of those actions. You may need to look into their history and see what are the effects of their actions over long time?

You need to be able to evaluate these things to have any chance to make a decision which will increase your happiness, after all the purpose of life is in very plain sight. What do people seek, indeed the constitution guarantee? The pursuit of happiness.

Only a small percentage are in such a bad state that they have given up on surviving and are focused on complete failure – death. Most everyone else are seeking happiness. Starting already with the baby who repeats noises that makes you smile and laugh. Or the joy of having unselfishly helped someone through something.

To the degree your life is not filled with smiles and laughter to that degree you are not actually winning. Winning is not measured by money or power, indeed few people who gain these in quantity are privately happy.

When the pursuit of some goal, of a leader, does not include those around him/her, then that person is not a leader but someone just looking out for themselves. This does not mean you cannot look out for yourself, we all need to, but when a leader is not acting in the interest in those who depend on him/her then that person is not acting as a leader.

Being a leader sometimes includes making decisions that are not immediately appreciated by all, especially when most of us have our own goals and desires that may not always have others best interest in mind. The harder things are, the less we tend to think of anyone but ourselves. This is normal, but not actually the optimum way, and I’m being very gentle in my description.

We live on a planet that is buzzing around in space, and instead of seeking to find agreements and common goals we are sidestepped with misinformation that turn us against each other.

The USA became the super power thanks to the united actions of the whole nation. The single largest contributor to the survival of many other countries who depends on her. Yes, we have also through people pretending to be leaders gotten into wars and caused a lot of damage around the world.

But that which made America so great is almost broken in half. In a matter of a few years the US is not united but split into fighting with each other.

You have to ask yourself who benefits from this?

Regardless of any insight you may or may not have this is the bottom line, are we as a nation stronger or weaker? Where have we been going from election to election? Are we as a country getting happier or more upset on a daily basis?

As people we are, well, people. And people makes mistakes, that too is normal. What you do after the mistake is more telling and more important. A leader have no problems with transparency and will acknowledge the mistake and take corrective measures.

If this all seems a but much for you, a bit too hard to deal with – I sympathize.

But you still need to know that the only way out of this is to be part of the bigger group in some capacity, that means at a minimum taking some time to get familiar with who are those that claims to be a leader and who is not. That cannot be done by listening to any one source on the political spectrum but as many as possible.

Don’t be too hasty to make your decision. There are usually so many factors involved in these peoples lives that it boggles the mind. Discovering them is a very tough job.

Know that there are many many special interest groups in this and other countries that have their own agenda and are NOT working to make America the best it can be. These players often have huge budgets and plenty of people to create good and false impressions of people. You could ask yourself who are most threatened by a united USA?

Congress today are going through a change whereby many are not really standing for anything in particular but are simply pushing whatever line, say and do anything they think will get them what they want. All at the expense of the greater good. Not how a leader behaves.

Also, remember this: you get the government you deserve!

If you don’t participate then you cannot complain.

One more thing. This is the US of A where the political balance ALWAYS swings back and forth from side to side. It’s never “over”. Take your win or loss and prepare to educate more people about your vision of a great country and what makes it so. Never result in violence or overthrow of the government.

If you pursue some activity that is illegal at least ensure that you actually can accomplish the goal and not end up in prison because you, yourself, did not ensure you knew what the legal outcome could be.

Try to set the good example that you want others to follow. Take responsibility of mistakes and try to not repeat them. 🙂

And please, get over the basic facts that all humans are humans regardless of skin color etc. If you are white then know that soon you will not be the majority, and if you are not caucasian see how wrong people can be about skin color and try not to make the same mistake.

Someone living deep in a jungle are no doubt surviving easier and are happier than most people in the concrete jungle. People are pursuing happiness to their best of their abilities all around the world. They are likely to have drastically different views than you do, and frankly from a purely survival viewpoint, since we are sharing this planet, it is in our interest to find solutions that works for all and not limited to the few. Doing otherwise will not work out in the long run.

Get educated and lose the insecurity and join the new civilization. 🙂 Because it is coming as surely as any has in the past. Change is the only constant.

I just watched a YouTube video of a woman with two children around 4-6 years old get fatally shot by a police officer, in a small city in Nevada.

The officer acted as he’s been trained which is why this became a fatal shooting. The woman was clearly not operating with the current scene but as if there were dangers lurking behind any person. Many would call her crazy.

There were two officers on the scene and she had a knife in her hand yelling to the police to not touch her children. A 911 caller had reported that she was afraid that something was going to happen to her children.

The complete failure and reason this turned deadly was due to the training of officers to basically treat anything dangerous as if it was a military assault. Which is very effective if the people you deal who are mentally there.

If you want to calm down a situation the last thing you do with an irate person is to oppose their view. The best thing to do is to play along with them and try to understand what demon/situation they feel they are dealing with. You can only calm them down when they feel understood. Opposing them, yelling and acting threatening is not very workable. This is true to anyone upset.

The first thing you want to do is to get in communication, this means thoughts are being exchanged with understanding, without force, threats or demands. Simply act is if you care about them and try to understand their problem/situation.

Once the person feels someone else is on their side they can then start calming down. Be a ‘safe person’, don’t seem to threaten them but be their ally. It is surprisingly simple and easy to do if you have any compassion for others.

Imagine one of your family members being the other person and treat them with the same love and respect, you will be surprised how easy it beome to defuse situations.

I’ve never failed to handle any person with the above, and I’ve talked down gang members, a cop killer, run of the mill nut cases who were really unhappy and ‘charged’ up. One threatened me with a knife in close quarters outside my apartment door demanding access. I relaxed, leaned to one side of the door frame on one leg and said ‘One one condition, that you owe me an apology when you see that that person is not here.’ as perfectly calm and friendly completely ignoring the threat (knife yielded by a much bigger person than me).

He turned out to be a cop killer on the run. He was taken back by my smile and total lack of displaying any indication of being in danger. In fact he did not dare passing next to me, I had to step away from the door before he stepped in, only to realize this was not the place. He tried to pay me off but I insisted on the apology, which he could not easily fathom. He had screwed up and he knew his word had never meant anything, so the idea that he would just say sorry was utterly unreal to him. It took a couple of minutes before he finally did, but he did say sorry and melted like butter when I said OK, thanks! At that point he told me his life history as if in a confession.

But you see what I did, I handled the situation with complete calm and care. His problem was my problem, and we solved it together. Threatening and putting him in a defensive mode would not have worked out well. Sure I could have just shot him but on principle I only use force if needed and that was not it. (Though many would say if any situation was that this was it. And that would just demonstrate their inability to handle it gently. You can take it to the bank that this guy never forgot me, and being treated well in spite of.)

Another time a woman whom our office security could not handle was in our reception interrupting things. I told security to leave us and got in communication with her. She was on about aliens and spirits and what not in some garbled version. I simply demonstrated an interest in her and her situation, and acknowledged everything she said. I suggested we get away from these other people (the staff in the office) so we can talk uninterruptedly, which she liked, and walked her outside. Spent a few minutes with her and she ended up walking away looking happy.

The whole ‘trick’ is to honestly care about others and wanting to understand them and help solving their problem. Caring is a secret weapon that can solve so many situations. Yelling to people is a method of force. It is not being in very good communication but more out of communication. So if you want to get others to do or not do something it makes a big difference if you are duplicating each other and have a good understanding.

In another situation a woman was really upset and yelling on the phone about the alleged problem some employee of ours had caused. I got the call transferred to me and I asked her what happened? Hearing her loud upset and accusations I simply acknowledged her really good. I said

‘WOW! That’s HORRIBLE!!’ she immediately stopped, was quiet for a few seconds and said Thank You!

So that’s another ingredient, proper acknowledgment. That is the sign that you have understood what they said. If someone says ‘And then the truck rolled over the baby!’ You would not calmly say OK.

You see a drunk and disorderly, how do you handle it?

Be a friend, care and try to understand them, then give a proper acknowledgment. A little over acknowledgment might be needed if their attention to the the environment is lowered, drunk or upset for example. But always in a friendly tone.

If you don’t want to shoot and kill some mother in front of her young children that’s how you do it. Police Academy are you listening? Your officers are dealing with any number of threatening situations each day. Meanwhile society is anything but pleased with the amount of police shootings. Demand that your officers are able to communicate with strangers in a friendly voice, and not oppose everyone as the immediate go to solution. It does not instill respect as it simply shows an incompetence in dealing with people. Your officers should not only drill all the other things they do but drill handling people in various stages of upset and ‘out of it’.

Manners is one of those thing kids used to learn at an early age. And if the adults set a good example themselves then the kids usually saw that it works.

The officer that drew his service weapon on a young girl needs to train in how to handle kids and probably people in general.

A police office is not a soldier. He may feel it when citizens shoot at him, but something has gone wrong long before those bullets come his way.

Groups get along and win when manners are applied from the beginning. When you treat people with respect above all, people feel safe and are less prone to pull a weapon on you. When equality rules the day and compassion is in use, society becomes a good place to be in and you will want to be part of it.

The Declaration of Human Rights is what should govern the day. All talk about how some people are less, or not people, is only made by people who are basically insecure. If a four year old tries to make fun of you I suspect you would not feel threatened. I simply agree and laugh along. In fact if anyone is making fun of you the best response is to simply agree and laugh along. You will not remain a target of ridicule for long.

It has long been proven scientifically that all the human races are human and are no more nor any less than anyone else. Individuals are different and a small number have a problem in dealing with things.

They may be and often are different in some way. That should make life more interesting, getting to know and understand someone from some other background than your own.

If you are in a group which is not treating you with sincere respect then you might not be in the right group. Same goes for work, if you cannot win there then maybe you should not be there? Why slave somewhere where you cannot be happy and winning?

Force yourself to smile in front of a mirror and see if you can keep that frown. Wish upon others that which you want for yourself.

🙂